I had a hard time not crying in class today. One of our assignments is to interview 4 people for our final paper. We need to ask 2 people from our personal lives and 2 people from our professional lives to share with us our 2 greatest strengths and 2 greatest weaknesses as a leader. As people were asking questions about it in class, i got so choked up, because everyone was talking about interviewing their spouses. Luckily the instructor gave us a break right after that discussion. I cried in the bathroom. I don't know if I was more sad that I don't have a spouse to interview or that I realized that I don't know if I have friends that have seen me in a leadership role in the last 4 years.
I'm trying not to beat myself up that 5 years ago, I knew who I was. I knew what I wanted out of life. I had many friends who lived near me and more just 4 hours away. I feel really alone right now.
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3 comments:
We all love you. I bet all those friends you used to have are all still there. That's the thing about good friends is you can not talk for a long time, then out of no where they show up again when you need them. If they don't show-up again then maybe you don't need them.
I for one could write a book about you :)
Love,
Holly
Thanks, Holly...I know you're right, it just doesn't feel that way right now. Just 2 weeks until I get lots of Texas hugs.
I think that when you're married, it's hard not to define yourself in terms of the other person. In a lot of ways, you lose yourself. I think maybe you're just starting to understand that you are a strong person who does have the ability to do things on your own, which includes building friendships.
I suspect you'll build a lot more friendships, as you'll need a support network, in the years to come. So, it's bittersweet, but I think it's a great opportunity for you, Amy. And I suspect the friends you make will be different than your "married" friends.
However, I am in complete agreement with Holly when she said, you'd be surprised that all of those friends are still there. And if they don't show up they weren't really your friends.
You'll get through this and you'll be stronger.
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